What is the most Powerful Practice out of Teaching Assertiveness and Responding to a Bully for your students? Why? Is there anything you think wouldn't work with your students in either chapter? Why/why not?
OK the assertiveness chapter is for me and NOT my students!! This is a weak area for me, so I enjoyed reading the activities. Page 81 gives a scenario in which a student steps in front of someone in line. Since I get to experience this all day every day, we are going to practice saying the right thing in this situation. (Would I say the right thing if it happened to me? No, I would pout and be sad, but not speak up. I have some learning to do!)
I am going to be honest, I would have a really difficult time dealing with a bully if it were happening to me. I hope to equip my students with strategies such as those mentioned in the book, but honestly, this will be difficult for me to teach since I don't really know if I could successfully complete the strategies myself. (I could probably use the "ignore" strategy if the bullying wasn't too severe.) yeah, I am a wimp!!
I would also probably use the ignore strategy if I personally encountered a bully now in my adult life. Sometimes words seem to bother you more if you try to ignore them though. I need to work on this area also.
I to would probably use the ignore strategy if I came into contact with an adult bully. It is not always easy for me to be assertive with other adults. I also learned a lot from this chapter for myself.
I think the most powerful practice out of teaching assertiveness & responding to a bully for students is the Bully Proofing Plan of Action. I feel this is the most important for my students to know how to respond if they encounter a bully. I explained to my students the Bully Proofing Plan of Action and went over in detail each step. We discussed several examples. We also discussed which trusted adults they could go to in different locations. I think most of the activities from these chapters would work with my students. However, it could be a challenge to get this age level to understand the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.
Macie, I completely agree with you and also think that the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was a powerful practice for teaching assertiveness. Even though I feel that this would be beneficial for the students, I don't know if it is appropriate for their age. I agree that they would have a hard time understanding the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Most of them still have a hard time understanding the difference between "tattling" and "bullying." LOL
I think the most powerful practice out of Teaching Assertiveness and Responding to a Bully is communication in a respectful manner and to remain calm. The students and I have discussed how we should talk to someone even when they are upset. One of the things that my students are practicing daily is what to do when someone breaks in front of them in line. I feel as though maintaining a calm demeanor while also expressing their feelings in a calm manner is the best solution. This tends to be a big issue with five year olds.
I think you're right about speaking in a respectful manner and remaining calm, especially for your particular age group of children. I know the students will respond to you better using this technique than a more aggressive one. It's better for them to learn to deal with daily issues, e.g., line breaking, in a calm way rather than the yelling, pushing, or tattling that usually occurs!
I agree that it is very important to model and help students of all ages understand the value of responding in a respectful/calm manner. We must remember when incidents occur to take the time and encourage them to talk out the problem, listen to them, and respond to there issue in the same manner.
I agree, Donna. It's so important to communicate with each other respectfully and calmly, and even more important to teach this skill to our students. Even when we/they get upset, we can still use our kind words to get our point across and make ourselves heard.
The quote "assertiveness is standing up for yourself without stepping on others," jumps out at me as something I wish I could have been taught at an early age. I can quickly place the people I've known in my life in a category of passive, assertive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. It's great to learn strategies that can be used to help our students learn these very valuable life lessons at an early age. It will serve a person well to know which category they fall into so that they can always be aware of strategies to help them move toward being more assertive. I most liked the activity to help students recognize assertiveness and the qualities it takes to be assertive. We need to utilize these steps in our daily life so we can serve as good models for our students.
We work so hard at teaching reading/math using explicit instruction. That's what I see in so many of the activities in these chapters. Like Robyn, I like the fact that we are teaching strategies that will be life lessons for our students, especially since so much of social learning has transitioned from the home to the school.
I agree with Donna about the most powerful practice of teaching Assertiveness and Responding to a Bully is communication. Responding in a respectful manner is what I need to work on more. I try to stay calm and respond quickly and nicely. I also agree that some issues that we deal with daily (over and over)it is better to ignore. I find that ignoring seems to work better than being aggressive. It all depends on the student and the issue.
I think that the handshake/Hi-5's activity from the assertiveness chapter would be a very powerful practice to help students understand how to express themselves assertively. The writer describes a correct handshake as a "balance of power". I think the illustration and senarios can help the students make connections with the terms used to describe assertive communication. In the Responding to Bullying chapter, I thought the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was the most powerful activity. It really saddens me that we now have to help students develop an escape plan from people like we help them develop a fire escape plan or weather plan.
Mandi, I also liked the explicit instructions on how to properly shake hands and give Hi-5s. These are actions that we as adults seem to take for granted, but children do need to be taught how to perform both actions in an appropriate and assertive manner.
I really like the fact that there is so much opportunity for modeling, role-playing, and student practice in both chapters. We know that when students are actively engaged in the activity, learning is increased. Through these activities we are giving them the needed tools for engaging in assertive communication, becoming self-reliant, and nonviolent. I thought the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was so powerful. I know our students will be much better equipped to handle problem situations.
Sabra, I agree with you that the Bully Proofing Plan of Action is powerful and that it will help our students to be able to handle problem situations. I think that every teacher needs to teach the steps of the Bully Proofing Plan of Action to their students.
The most powerful practice, for me, from Chapter 5 is to learn how to communicate assertively and express thoughts and emotions appropriately. It is very important to go about it peacefully and to keep relationships healthy and friendly. It's important for us to teach our children how to communicate with each other and to know which way is the best way.
It is also important to know when bullying is happening. We read The Ugly Duckling today and I took this opportunity to define different types of bullying that took place in the story; physical, verbal, and relational. This story really took bullying to a new level and allowed students to have a better understanding of the word. We talked about why the Ugly Duckling acted the way he did and what he could have done differently. We had one of those "Teachable Moments" that I truly enjoy, great opportunity to discuss how to respond to a bully. :-)
I really like the idea of using this book to demonstrate the different types of bullying. I think that is so important because so many only have one idea of what bullying is and think that the other things don't fall in that category or have the same effect.
I also liked the Role-Playing scenarios in Ch. 5. Students really don't know how to handle their anger. We did some of the scenarios in class and they all laughed. I asked them to raise their hand if they had ever said that to someone before. I felt the activity really let them see and hear what they sounded like. I also thought The Bullying Proofing Plan would help to get students prepared and to understand what to do when they encounter a bully.
I have to agree with Sherry that the most powerful part for me was Chapter 5. Learning and teaching our students how to deal with their anger is important. Communication is important. While reading how to ignore an aggressor it really made sense and I guess I never thought of it but when they are talking about being prepared because the bullying will get worse before it gets better. I know this happens but reading it, very sad. You do what is right by not becoming a bully as they are and sucking it up trying to ignore them only to be bullied even worse because you are ignoring them. But on the other hand if you are more aggressive that can also sometimes come back and hurt you as well. I believe that everyone one of us and every student we have should use the Bullying Proofing Plan!
Shannon, I agree that all of our students need to use the Bullying Proof Plan. I think that it is important that we teach the strategies of the Bullying Proof Plan to our students to help them to deal with bullying problems.
After reading this chapter I thought that teaching assertiveness was a great thing to do. It is sometimes hard to draw the line between being assertive and aggressive. I talked with my students about being assertive. I told them that you don’t have to be assertive with only bullies, but other times when others may bother you or you need to get a point across. I talked with my students about the way they stand, eye contact, tone, and the words they choose. We also talked about what NOT to do. Some of my students do not work well together. This is for different reasons. Some are just too quiet and some just talk too much. We have talked about being assertive with our partners. Lately, when situations arise I have them role play being assertive. This seems to have helped.
Assertive communication and the proper way to express their feelings appropriately at this age group is a practice that needs to be taught. I thought of the many times parents send treats/ goodies at birthdays and other occasions, and how rude kids can be with remarks about likes and dislikes. I used this as a role play with some of the assertive statements. It was very effective and a a teachable moment that lead to a very good lesson. The class quickly related it to other times when they could some statements from page 83. I like the role playing activities at this age group. Communicating properly is a daily practice for kids and adults
There are many powerful practices in these chapters. The one that applies most in my situation is in chapter 6: “But what if the bully continues to follow you”. I talk to my students often about different types of bullying since P.E. is typically where bullying occurs. Students need to realize that talking to a trusted adult about a bully is not “tattling”. If a bully does not stop after students assertively tell the bully to leave them alone or after ignoring the bully, then students need to realize they have to tell a trusted adult. I let my students know that I will never inform the “bully” who talked to me. Hopefully this will help my students realize that they can safely confide in me.
I think it is so important to keep a calm demeanor when I deal with my students because I expect them to speak calmly and say what they want when dealing with others. With my group this year I have tried to teach them to look at each and say what they need to say. How many times have I said "What could you have said, What should you have done, etc. If I'm calm, I hope they will learn by my example.
I totally agree! I think it is so important to model respect for our students if they are going to respect us and others. Students are very closely watching to see if we do what we say. It's very important that this 2 things line up.
I really like the handshaking activity that demonstrates the different types of assertiveness. I think this teaches students to pay attention to more than just what they say, but their body language and tones. A lot of times, these are the things that initiate problems between students. It is usually very hard to get students to recognize how they communicated with these things and to take accountability for their actions in the dispute. After demonstrating the handshakes and having students practice the different handshakes with each other, I feel they are more aware of how they can portray things differently by the way they handle themselves. Continuing to model and role-play these skills will definitely help them to become more aware and reflective of their actions and effects on others.
I really like the "Bully Proofing Plan of Action" described in Chapter 6. I think that it is important to teach the children how to handle a bullying situation. Children seem to feel hopeless when they have to deal with a bully, and this plan of action will give them a way to "fight" back and to protect themselves. It is important to teach children how to ignore a bully, how to walk away from a bully, and how to tell a bully to "Stop" bothering them. It is also important to teach children how to protect themselves, and that if all else fails that it is OK to run away from the situation. Children also need to know that it is important to confide in an adult about the problem they are facing with a bully. I really think that it is important to teach children each one of these strategies of how to deal with a bully, and it is also important to allow the children time to practice these strategies in the safety of their classroom. I think it will help the children to stand up for themselves and to be confident and assertive. The children need to know that they can defend themselves, and they do not have to be victims. Realistically, I know that all of these steps in the Bully Proofing Plan are extremely difficult for children and even for adults to actually implement in real life situations. I do believe that if the children are taught that they can do something to help themselves that they may be able to use some of these strategies to defuse a bullying situation. At the very least, it will help the children to develop more confidence in themselves which may help to end a bullying problem because bullies do not seem to pick on children who display a great deal of confidence.
Teaching the students how to handle bullies is a big problem, when they want to lash out at the one who is being mean to them. I do know how they feel. We have discussed how to speak calmly, and clearly when they are being mistreated. To tell the other person that they do not like or appreciate being mistreated. Also, I have stressed to talk to an adult, but it needs to be an appropriate adult, not just anyone. Every time that we read a book in my class that has anyone being mean to another child or animal we discuss how that creature should have responded. In the Ugly Duckling this week, the duckling ran away. Some children said that would have been them, run rather than risk anymore teasing and abuse. Some said that they would have lashed out or basically "shut-down". This is going to be an on-going education for me and our students. Especially mine!
I discussed with my students about being assertive when dealing with bullies. We talked about staying calm,body language,making eye contact,and tone of voice that should be used when dealing with bullies. We did a little role playing with this to show the students what assertive communication looks like.
Jolene, I also use role playing. I think it helps build confidence in the children. When they have practiced responses they are better prepared and can hopefully recognize what is going on....that this is what we have talked about!
Educating our students on what bullying is and what behaviors are actions of bullying are very important. I even think that our parents would benefit from reading the definition, behaviors, and types of bullying from pages 90 and 91. Educating everyone involved is essential for improvement in this rising area of concern. I have enjoyed and benefited from the reading myself. The Bully Proofing Plan of Action is explicit and provides many good modeling activities. These learned strategies for dealing with someone who tries to humiliate, ridicule, discourage and intimidate does not just apply to school-age years but will be of benefit for the rest of ones life since these same "bullying" actions continue to occur even in adulthood, unfortunately.
The most powerful practice for me came from Chapter 5. Learning how to communicate assertively and express thoughts and emotions appropriately. I have tried to instill in my class that they shouldn't let someone take advantage of them but they should be calm, maintain eye contact and speak politely yet firmly. They need to let the aggressor know they are not going to allow them to take advantage of them.
My students and I have discussed ways to react when confronted by a bully. We have acted out ways to use a firm voice and make appropriate eye contact when talking to a bully. I agree with Kippie's response, in that bullying does continue into adulthood and hopefully we can instill ideas that our students can use as they grow older.
We have discussed in our classroom about making eye contact. I keep reminding my students it is important to look at someone when you are talking to them. We have also discussed how being calm when dealing with certain situations can really make a difference. We need to really talk to our children about how to deal with their anger. What we teach them now will really benefit them as they get older.
I agree with Donna O.! What we teach them now will definitely benefit them as they get older ! Hopefully we will help them know how to deal with their anger and they will be more successful in life!
We really need to discuss more with students how to deal with their anger. If we explain to them how important it is to maintain eye contact while talking to someone and to do their best to remain calm it can change the whole outcome of the situation. The way the students react to the situation given to them is very important! I agree with Owens if we can teach them this now hopefully it will help them in the future!
I found the Assertiveness chapter very applicable to ALL of our lives. The 5 qualities of assertive communication can be helpful throughout life and are absolutely worth discussing with the children. I like role playing, so that is the way I have approached this with my students. The handshaking activities are good to share with the children....I'm thinking many of them are not taught this at home. Also, making eye contact and being aware of their tone of voice will help the students now, and in their future role as good citizens. The Assertive Statements at the end of the chapter are great examples, especially combined with the awareness of the 5 qualities. The chapter on Responding to a Bully is helpful because it has explicit "Do's" and "Do Not's" for dealing with a Bully. Helping the children to realize that a Bully is setting a trap for you and WANTS you to become upset, can hopefully help the children work on remaining calm. I especially like the tips about standing with your body at a 45 degree angle!
Responding to a bully touches my heart. The kids should know that it is okay to respond in a manner that makes you feel less threatened. Running away or yelling for help is okay and acceptable. Also knowing what the signs of bullying are also helps. For some it is a way of life. We role play and discuss situations like this in the classroom. We also talk about what to do on the playground and how to handle those situations. I agree with Kippie that it can carry on through adulthood if it is not stopped and people are not educated.
OK the assertiveness chapter is for me and NOT my students!! This is a weak area for me, so I enjoyed reading the activities. Page 81 gives a scenario in which a student steps in front of someone in line. Since I get to experience this all day every day, we are going to practice saying the right thing in this situation. (Would I say the right thing if it happened to me? No, I would pout and be sad, but not speak up. I have some learning to do!)
ReplyDeleteI am going to be honest, I would have a really difficult time dealing with a bully if it were happening to me. I hope to equip my students with strategies such as those mentioned in the book, but honestly, this will be difficult for me to teach since I don't really know if I could successfully complete the strategies myself. (I could probably use the "ignore" strategy if the bullying wasn't too severe.) yeah, I am a wimp!!
I would also probably use the ignore strategy if I personally encountered a bully now in my adult life. Sometimes words seem to bother you more if you try to ignore them though. I need to work on this area also.
DeleteRobbie, I also have a hard time being assertive, but I am learning. This chapter really helped me and, in turn, allows me to help my children.
DeleteI to would probably use the ignore strategy if I came into contact with an adult bully. It is not always easy for me to be assertive with other adults. I also learned a lot from this chapter for myself.
DeleteWhat is up with us? I would so ignore the acts as long as I could!
DeleteI think the most powerful practice out of teaching assertiveness & responding to a bully for students is the Bully Proofing Plan of Action. I feel this is the most important for my students to know how to respond if they encounter a bully. I explained to my students the Bully Proofing Plan of Action and went over in detail each step. We discussed several examples. We also discussed which trusted adults they could go to in different locations. I think most of the activities from these chapters would work with my students. However, it could be a challenge to get this age level to understand the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.
ReplyDeleteMacie,
DeleteI completely agree with you and also think that the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was a powerful practice for teaching assertiveness. Even though I feel that this would be beneficial for the students, I don't know if it is appropriate for their age. I agree that they would have a hard time understanding the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Most of them still have a hard time understanding the difference between "tattling" and "bullying." LOL
I think the most powerful practice out of Teaching Assertiveness and Responding to a Bully is communication in a respectful manner and to remain calm. The students and I have discussed how we should talk to someone even when they are upset. One of the things that my students are practicing daily is what to do when someone breaks in front of them in line. I feel as though maintaining a calm demeanor while also expressing their feelings in a calm manner is the best solution. This tends to be a big issue with five year olds.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about speaking in a respectful manner and remaining calm, especially for your particular age group of children. I know the students will respond to you better using this technique than a more aggressive one. It's better for them to learn to deal with daily issues, e.g., line breaking, in a calm way rather than the yelling, pushing, or tattling that usually occurs!
DeleteI agree that it is very important to model and help students of all ages understand the value of responding in a respectful/calm manner. We must remember when incidents occur to take the time and encourage them to talk out the problem, listen to them, and respond to there issue in the same manner.
DeleteI agree, Donna. It's so important to communicate with each other respectfully and calmly, and even more important to teach this skill to our students. Even when we/they get upset, we can still use our kind words to get our point across and make ourselves heard.
DeleteThe quote "assertiveness is standing up for yourself without stepping on others," jumps out at me as something I wish I could have been taught at an early age. I can quickly place the people I've known in my life in a category of passive, assertive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. It's great to learn strategies that can be used to help our students learn these very valuable life lessons at an early age. It will serve a person well to know which category they fall into so that they can always be aware of strategies to help them move toward being more assertive. I most liked the activity to help students recognize assertiveness and the qualities it takes to be assertive. We need to utilize these steps in our daily life so we can serve as good models for our students.
ReplyDeleteWe work so hard at teaching reading/math using explicit instruction. That's what I see in so many of the activities in these chapters. Like Robyn, I like the fact that we are teaching strategies that will be life lessons for our students, especially since so much of social learning has transitioned from the home to the school.
DeleteI agree with Donna about the most powerful practice of teaching Assertiveness and Responding to a Bully is communication. Responding in a respectful manner is what I need to work on more. I try to stay calm and respond quickly and nicely. I also agree that some issues that we deal with daily (over and over)it is better to ignore. I find that ignoring seems to work better than being aggressive. It all depends on the student and the issue.
ReplyDeleteI think that the handshake/Hi-5's activity from the assertiveness chapter would be a very powerful practice to help students understand how to express themselves assertively. The writer describes a correct handshake as a "balance of power". I think the illustration and senarios can help the students make connections with the terms used to describe assertive communication. In the Responding to Bullying chapter, I thought the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was the most powerful activity. It really saddens me that we now have to help students develop an escape plan from people like we help them develop a fire escape plan or weather plan.
ReplyDeleteMandi, I also liked the explicit instructions on how to properly shake hands and give Hi-5s. These are actions that we as adults seem to take for granted, but children do need to be taught how to perform both actions in an appropriate and assertive manner.
DeleteI really like the fact that there is so much opportunity for modeling, role-playing, and student practice in both chapters. We know that when students are actively engaged in the activity, learning is increased. Through these activities we are giving them the needed tools for engaging in assertive communication, becoming self-reliant, and nonviolent. I thought the Bully Proofing Plan of Action was so powerful. I know our students will be much better equipped to handle problem situations.
ReplyDeleteSabra, I agree with you that the Bully Proofing Plan of Action is powerful and that it will help our students to be able to handle problem situations. I think that every teacher needs to teach the steps of the Bully Proofing Plan of Action to their students.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe most powerful practice, for me, from Chapter 5 is to learn how to communicate assertively and express thoughts and emotions appropriately. It is very important to go about it peacefully and to keep relationships healthy and friendly. It's important for us to teach our children how to communicate with each other and to know which way is the best way.
ReplyDeleteIt is also important to know when bullying is happening. We read The Ugly Duckling today and I took this opportunity to define different types of bullying that took place in the story; physical, verbal, and relational. This story really took bullying to a new level and allowed students to have a better understanding of the word. We talked about why the Ugly Duckling acted the way he did and what he could have done differently. We had one of those "Teachable Moments" that I truly enjoy, great opportunity to discuss how to respond to a bully. :-)
I really like the idea of using this book to demonstrate the different types of bullying. I think that is so important because so many only have one idea of what bullying is and think that the other things don't fall in that category or have the same effect.
DeleteI also liked the Role-Playing scenarios in Ch. 5. Students really don't know how to handle their anger. We did some of the scenarios in class and they all laughed. I asked them to raise their hand if they had ever said that to someone before. I felt the activity really let them see and hear what they sounded like.
ReplyDeleteI also thought The Bullying Proofing Plan would help to get students prepared and to understand what to do when they encounter a bully.
I have to agree with Sherry that the most powerful part for me was Chapter 5. Learning and teaching our students how to deal with their anger is important. Communication is important. While reading how to ignore an aggressor it really made sense and I guess I never thought of it but when they are talking about being prepared because the bullying will get worse before it gets better. I know this happens but reading it, very sad. You do what is right by not becoming a bully as they are and sucking it up trying to ignore them only to be bullied even worse because you are ignoring them. But on the other hand if you are more aggressive that can also sometimes come back and hurt you as well. I believe that everyone one of us and every student we have should use the Bullying Proofing Plan!
ReplyDeleteShannon, I agree that all of our students need to use the Bullying Proof Plan. I think that it is important that we teach the strategies of the Bullying Proof Plan to our students to help them to deal with bullying problems.
DeleteAfter reading this chapter I thought that teaching assertiveness was a great thing to do. It is sometimes hard to draw the line between being assertive and aggressive. I talked with my students about being assertive. I told them that you don’t have to be assertive with only bullies, but other times when others may bother you or you need to get a point across. I talked with my students about the way they stand, eye contact, tone, and the words they choose. We also talked about what NOT to do. Some of my students do not work well together. This is for different reasons. Some are just too quiet and some just talk too much. We have talked about being assertive with our partners. Lately, when situations arise I have them role play being assertive. This seems to have helped.
ReplyDeleteAssertive communication and the proper way to express their feelings appropriately at this age group is a practice that needs to be taught. I thought of the many times parents send treats/ goodies at birthdays and other occasions, and how rude kids can be with remarks about likes and dislikes. I used this as a role play with some of the assertive statements. It was very effective and a a teachable moment that lead to a very good lesson. The class quickly related it to other times when they could some statements from page 83. I like the role playing activities at this age group. Communicating properly is a daily practice for kids and adults
ReplyDeleteThere are many powerful practices in these chapters. The one that applies most in my situation is in chapter 6: “But what if the bully continues to follow you”. I talk to my students often about different types of bullying since P.E. is typically where bullying occurs. Students need to realize that talking to a trusted adult about a bully is not “tattling”. If a bully does not stop after students assertively tell the bully to leave them alone or after ignoring the bully, then students need to realize they have to tell a trusted adult. I let my students know that I will never inform the “bully” who talked to me. Hopefully this will help my students realize that they can safely confide in me.
ReplyDeleteI think it is so important to keep a calm demeanor when I deal with my students because I expect them to speak calmly and say what they want when dealing with others. With my group this year I have tried to teach them to look at each and say what they need to say. How many times have I said "What could you have said, What should you have done, etc. If I'm calm, I hope they will learn by my example.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! I think it is so important to model respect for our students if they are going to respect us and others. Students are very closely watching to see if we do what we say. It's very important that this 2 things line up.
Delete*these not this :)
DeleteI really like the handshaking activity that demonstrates the different types of assertiveness. I think this teaches students to pay attention to more than just what they say, but their body language and tones. A lot of times, these are the things that initiate problems between students. It is usually very hard to get students to recognize how they communicated with these things and to take accountability for their actions in the dispute. After demonstrating the handshakes and having students practice the different handshakes with each other, I feel they are more aware of how they can portray things differently by the way they handle themselves. Continuing to model and role-play these skills will definitely help them to become more aware and reflective of their actions and effects on others.
ReplyDeleteI really like the "Bully Proofing Plan of Action" described in Chapter 6. I think that it is important to teach the children how to handle a bullying situation. Children seem to feel hopeless when they have to deal with a bully, and this plan of action will give them a way to "fight" back and to protect themselves. It is important to teach children how to ignore a bully, how to walk away from a bully, and how to tell a bully to "Stop" bothering them. It is also important to teach children how to protect themselves, and that if all else fails that it is OK to run away from the situation. Children also need to know that it is important to confide in an adult about the problem they are facing with a bully. I really think that it is important to teach children each one of these strategies of how to deal with a bully, and it is also important to allow the children time to practice these strategies in the safety of their classroom. I think it will help the children to stand up for themselves and to be confident and assertive. The children need to know that they can defend themselves, and they do not have to be victims. Realistically, I know that all of these steps in the Bully Proofing Plan are extremely difficult for children and even for adults to actually implement in real life situations. I do believe that if the children are taught that they can do something to help themselves that they may be able to use some of these strategies to defuse a bullying situation. At the very least, it will help the children to develop more confidence in themselves which may help to end a bullying problem because bullies do not seem to pick on children who display a great deal of confidence.
ReplyDeleteTeaching the students how to handle bullies is a big problem, when they want to lash out at the one who is being mean to them. I do know how they feel. We have discussed how to speak calmly, and clearly when they are being mistreated. To tell the other person that they do not like or appreciate being mistreated. Also, I have stressed to talk to an adult, but it needs to be an appropriate adult, not just anyone. Every time that we read a book in my class that has anyone being mean to another child or animal we discuss how that creature should have responded. In the Ugly Duckling this week, the duckling ran away. Some children said that would have been them, run rather than risk anymore teasing and abuse. Some said that they would have lashed out or basically "shut-down". This is going to be an on-going education for me and our students. Especially mine!
ReplyDeleteI discussed with my students about being assertive when dealing with bullies. We talked about staying calm,body language,making eye contact,and tone of voice that should be used when dealing with bullies. We did a little role playing with this to show the students what assertive communication looks like.
ReplyDeleteJolene, I also use role playing. I think it helps build confidence in the children. When they have practiced responses they are better prepared and can hopefully recognize what is going on....that this is what we have talked about!
DeleteEducating our students on what bullying is and what behaviors are actions of bullying are very important. I even think that our parents would benefit from reading the definition, behaviors, and types of bullying from pages 90 and 91. Educating everyone involved is essential for improvement in this rising area of concern. I have enjoyed and benefited from the reading myself. The Bully Proofing Plan of Action is explicit and provides many good modeling activities. These learned strategies for dealing with someone who tries to humiliate, ridicule, discourage and intimidate does not just apply to school-age years but will be of benefit for the rest of ones life since these same "bullying" actions continue to occur even in adulthood, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteThe most powerful practice for me came from Chapter 5. Learning how to communicate assertively and express thoughts and emotions appropriately. I have tried to instill in my class that they shouldn't let someone take advantage of them but they should be calm, maintain eye contact and speak politely yet firmly. They need to let the aggressor know they are not going to allow them to take advantage of them.
ReplyDeleteMy students and I have discussed ways to react when confronted by a bully. We have acted out ways to use a firm voice and make appropriate eye contact when talking to a bully. I agree with Kippie's response, in that bullying does continue into adulthood and hopefully we can instill ideas that our students can use as they grow older.
ReplyDeleteWe have discussed in our classroom about making eye contact. I keep reminding my students it is important to look at someone when you are talking to them. We have also discussed how being calm when dealing with certain situations can really make a difference. We need to really talk to our children about how to deal with their anger. What we teach them now will really benefit them as they get older.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Donna O.! What we teach them now will definitely benefit them as they get older ! Hopefully we will help them know how to deal with their anger and they will be more successful in life!
DeleteWe really need to discuss more with students how to deal with their anger. If we explain to them how important it is to maintain eye contact while talking to someone and to do their best to remain calm it can change the whole outcome of the situation. The way the students react to the situation given to them is very important! I agree with Owens if we can teach them this now hopefully it will help them in the future!
ReplyDeleteI found the Assertiveness chapter very applicable to ALL of our lives. The 5 qualities of assertive communication can be helpful throughout life and are absolutely worth discussing with the children. I like role playing, so that is the way I have approached this with my students. The handshaking activities are good to share with the children....I'm thinking many of them are not taught this at home. Also, making eye contact and being aware of their tone of voice will help the students now, and in their future role as good citizens. The Assertive Statements at the end of the chapter are great examples, especially combined with the awareness of the 5 qualities.
ReplyDeleteThe chapter on Responding to a Bully is helpful because it has explicit "Do's" and "Do Not's" for dealing with a Bully. Helping the children to realize that a Bully is setting a trap for you and WANTS you to become upset, can hopefully help the children work on remaining calm. I especially like the tips about standing with your body at a 45 degree angle!
Responding to a bully touches my heart. The kids should know that it is okay to respond in a manner that makes you feel less threatened. Running away or yelling for help is okay and acceptable. Also knowing what the signs of bullying are also helps. For some it is a way of life. We role play and discuss situations like this in the classroom. We also talk about what to do on the playground and how to handle those situations. I agree with Kippie that it can carry on through adulthood if it is not stopped and people are not educated.
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