Read chapters 3 and 4 as well as the article above from Time magazine (it's short). I had someone I really admire say to me the other day that the "only reason KES is undertaking a study on bullying is for the PR it generates." While I never think positive PR is a bad thing, I think the quote on p. 62 is more to the point of why we are undertaking this study. "Sixty percent of those characterized as bullies in grades 6-9 had at least ONE criminal conviction by age twenty-four." (Olweus, 1993) Wow, if that doesn't take your breath, nothing will. I believe it is our duty to teach our children they cannot, they must not bully one another. Combine what you learn from the article and the chapters and write a few sentences about your learning. Remember to respond to one another. What activities from the chapters did you try successfully/unsuccessfully with your class?
After reading the article in Time Magazine I believe that parents know if their child is a bully or not! I understand that "Bully" is a strong word and we must not label a child as being a bully unless we know for sure. But, let's not "sweep it under the rug" either. I was "teased" when I was a young girl about having a hole in my shirt by a much older student while riding the school bus. That really hurt my feelings and embarrassed me. That was a form of bullying! I will never forget how humiliated I was! I don't want my child or any other children being bullied. We as teachers and parents need to be aware of this problem and do something about it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that parents know if their child is a bully or not. However, I also know of parents that would rather live in denial than to accept the truth. I also feel that we should not sweet it under the rug!
DeleteI think many parents don't take the time to educate their children about bullying. They just assume that their child is a "good kid" and that they are just being a kid by picking on others. Our children have to be taught that picking, teasing, or humiliating another child is never appropriate. They have to understand the ramifications of their actions no matter how little or big they are. So much of this starts at home, but we as teachers have to do the best we can to change what we can with kids at school. For many, we may be the only person they will hear or learn it from.
DeleteI agree. I don't think parents take the time at home to educate their children on empathy or respect for others. Children are so impressionable and pick up what they see at home.
DeleteI agree that some parents don't take the time or don't have a clue that their sweet angel is a bully but I have seen with my own eyes children who are part of the "Who's Who" bully my child!!! So I do believe that some parents refuse to believe or do not know how to stop it. How embarrassing would it be to come out that YOUR child "the good child" is really a bully.
DeleteShannan I think you are so right! I think sometimes we want to think of a bully as a bad child or we have this image in our mind of what a bully is or looks like but in reality it isn't and a lot of times it's the children who no one would ever think....
DeleteI completed several of the activities with my students from chapters 3 and 4. We discussed the meaning of empathy and we did the activity on feelings. I wrote the words happy,mad,sad,nervous,excited,and frustrated on the board and asked the students to write down their feelings about these words. When I wrote the word mad, one of my students said "I hate my Dad". I was shocked! This is a student that doesn't normally share his feelings.
ReplyDeleteI also did the activity on Emotional Statues. The students seemed to understand how to communicate these feelings well.We discussed that body language plays a big role in understanding one's emotions.The students were given various scenarios and were able to communicate their feelings this way as well.
I learned from reading chapter 3 students who are involved in programs that teach empathy and create caring communities have higher test scores and better reading comprehension as well.
I also created an Angry Monster poster with my students. This allowed students to see what anger looks like. Students understood that they have to recognize their emotions and still maintain a calm and rational behavior.Students also realized that people should understand their emotions and resolve differences peacefully. The children were able to make a list of ways to calm down after becoming angry. For example, taking a walk, listening to music, running,and exercising.
After reading these chapters I learned that being bullied is not just part of growing up that it is a public health problem that needs attention and people who were bullied as children could suffer from depression and low self esteem and the bullies themselves are more likely to engage in criminal behavior later in life.
Sounds like your students are definitely going to have a better understanding of feelings, especially empathy & anger. Those activities sound like a great way to get the point across in a way the students can truly grasp. It's such a good idea to teach them how to put their feelings into words within an open dialogue with their teacher & peers.
DeleteI think as parents and teachers, it is better to be overly cautious than to think a child would not be a bully. It’s important to talk about all the little and big things that a child might do that could be considered a bully. I think too many times things get ignored because it’s considered normal for kids to treat or act that way towards each other. I believe allowing those opportunities to slide and the child not being taught what is right and wrong is one of the reasons there are so many kids being bullies. We have to get to the core of them and understand why they are doing it and help them realize the impact that they have by their actions. So many kids are not taught this at home and we as teachers have to try to help change their attitudes toward others. Chapter 3 really highlights this by discussing the importance of teaching kids empathy. Just as it states, so many children have been raised in an environment that teaches them to become numb to empathy. This could be because they were never taught how to be empathetic or sadly, they may even be in a situation where they don’t practice empathy out of survival (ex: abusive or neglecting household). Basically, we have to do more than tell kids not to be a bully. I believe educating our students on what a bully is and the impact a bully can have on another child is exactly what we need to be doing. I know we are busy teaching academics and it’s hard to get it all in, but I think this is just as detrimental for our students to learn in order to be productive citizens.
ReplyDeleteGreat insight, Elisha...I totally agree with everything you have said. It is definitely better to be overly cautious than to think bullying is not occurring. Thankfully I have not had to deal with any physical bullying issues in P.E., but there are always some instances of name-calling or exclusion. In these cases I talk to the students about putting themselves in another student's place and treating others the way they would want to be treated. A few years ago I had a group of third grade girls that often excluded others and called each other names. I had them read a book about bullying together and discuss how their actions were a form of bullying and that their words could have a lasting effect on the students on the receiving end.
DeleteI also did the emotional statues activity with my students and we discussed how our body language communicates our emotions. We discussed how we can read another person's body language and tell how they feel. They really seemed to like this activity. Then we did a "Feeling Cloud" about things they could do if they became angry. I agree with what the author said, "People who manage their emotions resolve conflicts peacefully and interact with others respectfully."
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see activities being put into place to help students learn to manage emotions, resolve conflicts, & respect others. These are important characteristics of good citizens and sadly are often not "taught" to those children who don't pick it up naturally through good role models at home. I commend all of you classroom teachers for taking the time to perform these activities to make that lasting impression on your students. Every little life lesson helps in developing good character!
DeleteWell said!
DeleteI also agree that most parents, whether they will admit it or not, know if their kids are bullies or not. They tend to have the attitudes with us that they don't do these things, or are not that kind of child, or are "perfect" in some instances. Anyone with children knows what all kids are capable of. We have to educate the parents with the children so that they will be able to make that distinction and be a part of the solution, not the problem.
ReplyDeleteMy class talked about what angry and sad and happy looks like. We drew pictures of what they thought and then I shared my pictures. Some of the kids were surprised at the differences.
I agree we need to try to educate parents as well. I think it's important we don't sugar coat things with parents either. I know the word bully seems to be very strong, but it their child is harassing another student in any way, he/she is being a bully. We may not necessarily have to use the word bully to convey this message to parents, but we need to be honest with them about the actions of their child and the harm that they are doing to other children.
DeleteI completed the Guided Visualizations and Angry Monster activity with my students. After asking my students to visualize a time when they were angry we shared how their bodies felt while they were so angry. My students participated and had really good answers to discuss. We talked about how everyone gets angry but there are ways to deal with it and ways not to deal with it. We also talked about how being angry can make you be mean to others. This was a really good activity to do and I encourage others to do it.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading the article posted I thought about the saying “boys will be boys”. Many parents say things like that when a child does something they should not. I agree with the other posts saying there is never a time when a child should pick on, bully, or intimidate others. The sad thing is this is all some children do see at home and it is all they know. That makes our job much harder. Like the book said we have to teach empathy, which is hard in some cases. When the empathy comes the student is more aware of their actions.
Helping our students to develop and practice empathy among their peers is vital for their ability to understand what bullying is and how not to be a bully. As teachers, we must teach the meaning of empathy, as well as provide useful examples and modeling. Teaching our students to understand emotions so that they can manage their feelings in a socially acceptable way is also a key factor. I know that I often take for granted that children will just learn these things naturally as they mature, but that is not always the case. Our students come from very different home lives and backgrounds, so in order to put them on the same level, we must start teaching them good character traits as soon as they start school.
ReplyDeleteI read the book "The Way I Feel" to my students and we discussed different feelings. I had my students complete the activity from the book where they wrote about what makes the feel a certain way. This created great discussion about what makes us feel a certain way and how we deal with these emotions. We discussed empathy and what it means to show empathy to another person. We discussed examples of this as well. I plan to continue discussing empathy more in the future to really help my students develop this emotion.
ReplyDeleteI thought chapters 3 and 4 had some great activities .I did the Empathy activity and the Anger Monster poster with my students. I was amazed at what they all shared about their feelings with the Empathy activity.
ReplyDeleteThe Anger monster poster helped the students to see what anger actually looks like.
I think modeling and educating our students will truly impacted the way they treat their peers.
The outcome of students treating their peers in a more respectful manner makes these lessons very worthwhile. For the learning to be put into practice I think that modeling is necessary as well as a quick refresher or new activity on empathy throughout the year.
DeleteKippie, I agree these lessons or similar lessons should be reviewed and repeated throughout the year ensure they have an impact on our students.
DeleteLeslie, the Angry Monster lesson was my favorite. I am always amazed or just forget that the students are willing to be so honest and share (sometimes more than we need to know). We just have to ask them and guide them in there conversations.
Leslie, we also did the Anger Monster poster. This really allowed the students to think about/see how their bodies change when angry. We then talked about different ways to deal with anger, how important communication is and how, sometimes, just walking away from a situation makes all the difference.
DeleteLeslie, We completed the empathy activity and the anger monster activity too. Each student had their own anger monster poster though. I agree that they need more modeling and on something that most of us take for granted.
DeleteMy students made the Anger Monster.They made individual ones though. We discussed, they all had their time to talk about anger and how it made them feel. Then they each made their own Monster. They then made the cloud so that they could show how they thought they could move past the anger. This was a real eye opener for some of my students. I do no think some of the students realized how angry they get and how it makes them look and feel.
ReplyDeleteI have never really thought about teaching empathy skills since I like some others have often found it natural to acquire these feelings. After reading the chapters, I can see the need for lessons that promote looking at things from another's point of view since some children do not gain the skill naturally due to the lack of a role model or negative experiences. As an educator the statement that "research shows an impressive correlation between students' training and skills in empathetic understanding and their academic performance" really secured my new feelings of needing to provide lessons on emotions.
ReplyDeleteI tried several activities from Ch. 3 & 4. I explained empathy to my students. I used several words like sad, mad, etc. and one that really stood out to me was sad. I was really surprised at how many talked about being sad when others make fun of them. This ended up being a great lesson about bullying and how important everyone's feelings are. I think the main thing that I learned from this chapter is how student academic scores were higher when they were involved in programs that teach empathy.
ReplyDeleteI was also surprised at the research on bullying and how the ones being bullied were more likely to have one criminal conviction by age 24. This was shocking!
I found it interesting that there is a correlation between students' training in the skill of empathetic understanding and academic performance. I never really thought about teaching empathy skills but I now see the importance considering that a lot of children have endured repeated bad experiences and do not get the model needed to acquire the skills naturally. I was taught to put others first, but it seems now we are reading more and more about a "all about me" society. It make me sad. I wish more emphasis (in the news, etc.)was put on the positives that people do instead of the neg.
ReplyDeleteMandi, I also have never really thought about having to teach empathy skills because I thought that these came naturally. I realize that many of my students need to be instructed on empathy skills. True empathy skills do focus on others, and many of the children have a hard time thinking about others instead of only "self."
DeleteI agree with Mandi, I wished there were more good than bad in the media. Any news channel you watch on television seems to focus on the bad. I was also taught empathy as a child and have always considered others feelings. Unfortunately, not everyone knows the meaning of empathy or just doesn't care about the feelings of others. I feel like it is our job as teachers to teach empathy to our students because they may not be exposed to this at home.
ReplyDeleteI completed the activity on empathy with my children from Chapter 3. We discussed the definition of empathy and gave examples of feeling empathetic towards a friend who has experienced a loss or has gone through the same thing you have. We then discussed what makes us feel happy, mad, sad, nervous, excited, and frustrated. Children were eager to share and responded with appropriate answers. My second graders had a great understanding of emotions and definitely know what makes them "feel". If students are able to understand their own emotions, they will be able to understand how others feel. It is so important to become emotionally aware of yourself and others.
ReplyDeleteSherry, I agree that it is important for students to become emotionally aware of themselves and of others' feelings. As elementary teachers, we probably need to help teach our students to be able to recognize their own emotions and to be aware of their classmates' feelings.
DeleteI also did the activity in Chapter 3 about emotions. I wrote the question What Makes You Feel...happy, sad, mad, nervous, scared? The children took turns sharing their answers. It is amazing what is in their little heads! We even talked about one of the students loosing their brother to death. I truly believe that if we can get them to understand what they are feeling and talk about options they have to deal with those feelings they will become stronger, more confident, caring students.
ReplyDeleteMs. Jean, I hope that we can make that difference in our students lives and get them to understand their emotions and how to deal with them. I agree with you and believe that this would help them become stronger, more confident and caring individuals.
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DeleteI also did this activity and I think it is SO important for us to take time teach about our feelings!
DeleteI completed a few of the activities from both of these chapters. First, I talked with my students about empathy and what it means. I gave them examples and we completed the activity listed in the book. On the board, I wrote, “What makes you feel…. happy, mad, sad, nervous, or excited? Each student listed their response on an index card. I also completed the “Anger Monster” activity and the “Feeling Cloud” activity. Mrs. Head shared her drawing for both of these with me. Thank you, Mrs. Head! After talking about anger and how we all experience it but we need to control it in a positive way, my class drew and colored their anger monster and then completed their feeling cloud with 3 different things that they can do to calm down when they are angry. I attached the cloud to the monster and displayed these in my room for future reference. I do believe that these activities and lessons are helping my students to be aware of their emotions and how to manage them.
ReplyDeleteThe Time’s magazine article was very interesting but scary. We do need to be aware of our own children and how they act or behave toward others. Are we modeling respectful behavior? I’m not proud of it, but I know that there have been times that my daughters have seen me in situations where I didn't act in a respectful way---did that affect them and how they will act toward others? To use an old quote—“We need to practice what we preach.”
I like the way you attached the cloud - the things they can do to calm down- to the angry monster. This visual gives them activities they can do when the angry monster rears his head. Hopefully, with repeated exposure, students will connect the two and become easily able to change their feelings by thinking of their calming/energy releasing actions.
DeleteLike several others, I also did the Chapter 3 activity on emotions. As part of the other book study I am doing , I was supposed to create a blog and pose the question "What makes you happy?". Because of our filters the students were not able to access the blog to respond, so we briefly discussed things that make us feel happy and the students took turns sharing. The Time Magazine article was an interesting read, and I was also shocked by the quote on page 62. We discussed bullying in a class I took last semester, and another interesting fact I learned was that on any given day the fear of being bullied will keep over 160,000 students out of school.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that 160,000 students stay out of school because of the fear of being bullied is upsetting to me. I believe that school, for some students, may be the only "safe" place in their lives. For a bully to take that away is not acceptable.
DeleteThat is so sad that 160,000 students stay out of school because they are afraid of being bullied. Many students do not feel safe at home and school should be a place for them to come and feel comfortable and safe.
DeleteOur class has discussed how we feel and how others feel. We have talked about how important it is to not hurt another person's feelings, since we wouldn't want ours hurt. We have also discussed how you can determine, by looking at a person's body movement and facial expressions, how they are feeling. Children are very good at this activity. We read a book this week in our reading class "The Roadrunner". It was about how a snake bullied the people and other desert animals. They realized that people act just like the snake. Bragging and making the other animals feel unimportant was one of the snake's tactics. Every student could identify with the innocent animals since something like that had happened to them at one time or another.
ReplyDeleteLike Shannon, my class also completed the anger monsters. Each child made their own paper doll to show how they look and feel when they are angry. We discussed how anger is simply an emotion, but it is a strong emotion that can hurt others if it is not controlled. Then also like Shannon's class, each child made a cloud for their anger monster. The children had to write three things that they could do to control their anger. They came up with some good ideas such as: praying, taking a walk, walking away, counting to ten, taking deep breaths, and talking to a pet. I taped these anger monsters with the clouds above them in the hall. The next time one of the children is angry during the school day, I am going to tell them to look at their angry monster and their "peaceful clouds" to decide how they will get their anger under control. I really think that much of the bullying activity at the elementary level occurs because the children do not understand their own emotions or how to control them. After completing the anger monsters and clouds, we also discussed empathy. A child in my class was upset because her dog had been hit and killed by a car that morning before school. I explained how I could have empathy for her because, I had also lost a pet. Of course, all of the children wanted to share similar pet stories. The children seemed to grasp what it meant to show empathy for another person. Then, I referred to our anger monsters and clouds, to explain how out of control anger can hurt other people. I tried to explain that uncontrolled anger is not demonstrating empathy for other people. During this lesson, I was aware that many of the children truly have not had anyone discuss emotions with them(especially anger) and how to handle it. Maybe, these anger monsters and clouds will be a daily visual reminder of how to control emotions and to think about other people's feelings.
ReplyDeleteI did the activity in chapter 3 and then I went over some of the scenario's with my class. They were all willing to express how they felt in each situation. If we can get them to see how their words can hurt or help others and how talking about their feelings helps to resolve some issues maybe they will be more considerate of others!
ReplyDeleteI did the activity in chapter 3 and we discussed empathy and what makes us feel _______. I was surprised at how many of my children had difficulty expressing why they felt a certain way!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of chapter 4, the author compared the activities teaching empathy, emotional control and anger management to practicing a fire drill (which we do regularly). We do that so that our students will know what to do in the event of an actual fire and everyone is really scared. Through the repeated experiences we provide students centered around the topics of these two chapters, there is a better chance that they will know how to make good decisions and maintain self-control when they are in challenging situations.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Chapter 3 & 4 and the article. The students and I discussed what made them feel happy and what made them feel sad. Each student shared their answer with the class. I was stunned with the conversations that the students shared. What I learned from Chapter 3 is to praise empathy behavior more. I think this will help my students have a better understanding of what empathy means.
ReplyDeleteI agree Mrs. Nolan. We need to praise empathy when students demonstrate it!
DeleteWe created "anger monsters" and we discussed how we feel when we are angry. I agree with Ginger that anger is only an emotion but can be quite hurtful. I also agree with what she said about elementary students just not understanding their own emotions and how to deal with each of these. I think it is crucial that we as teachers work to discuss these feelings with our students as well as various types of mechanisms on how to cope with these feelings.
ReplyDeleteI liked the activities mentioned in these chapters and how each will help students to recognize and verbalize their emotions. I love seeing the evidence of these activities in classrooms and hallways around our school, and enjoy reading all the posts that gave specifics on how teachers taught these lessons with students. The statistic at the end of Ch. 3, "people believe that bullies act tough in order to hide feelings of insecurity and self-loathing, while, in fact, bullies tend to be confident, with high self-esteem", was alarming to me. I also felt it went along with the Time Magazine article, because we can sometimes think "not my child", when in fact it could be possible.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading Chapters 3 and 4, I thought the activities were great. I did the activity in Chapter 3 about telling a story using emotion words. Before we did the activity, we discussed words like proud, scared, nervous, mad, sad, and happy. We would discuss a certain emotion and the children would stop and tell about certain times they felt that way. I feel it is so important for children to understand how their words can really hurt or help and they need to think before they speak.
ReplyDeleteI did this activity also and I agree with you Donna that kids need to know that words really hurt and can't be taken back even when you say you are sorry.
DeleteI did the activity in Chapter 3 about using stories that have emotion words. We do this quite often using Kelly Bear stories. One of the books is about using manners and the other is about behavior. The kids are encouraged to tell a partner about a time when they felt a certain way.
ReplyDeleteI still use the Kelly Bear books too! I love how they relate on the children's level.
DeleteDevelopmentally, I believe first graders are still at that stage where they tend to see the world mostly from their own viewpoint and as revolving around 'self'. I think that's one reason it is difficult for a young child to accept him/herself as having 'bullying' type behaviors. It is always what the OTHER child is doing, or how someone is "being mean to me" when the problem may lie in that child's own behaviors. We've talked so much about 'explicit' instruction as it applies to reading, but we may need to transfer that thinking to teaching empathy. Children don't all have background experience or role models at home that teach this. I have defined empathy to my students and we have had discussions about others' feelings. I also use the Kelly Bear books. The children are taught words that express emotions.(Ever notice that most children use just the words 'sad' or 'happy' to describe a range of emotions?) I've tried to teach the children that we all have different emotions and that it is acceptable to feel these emotions. What is important is how we ACT on our emotions. It is okay to FEEL angry but we are responsible for our actions. We talk about how to express emotions in an appropriate way. Coming up with ideas of ways to calm down when you feel angry went better after I supplied a few positive suggestions like 'run around the yard 5 times' , 'draw a picture', or 'do jumping jacks'.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Donna! So many times, the children are unaware of other people's feelings and if we are explicit, we can help them at least acknowledge other people have feelings. I used to use the Kelly Bear books, but it has been a long time since I used them. I think it is time I get back to them. I will be borrowing them soon!
DeleteI have had much experience with students and anger management issues. I liked the explicit instructions on how to recognize anger and ways to deal with the feelings. I plan to introduce some of these tactics to my class in order to assist them in managing their own behavior.
ReplyDelete