Read Chapters 1 & 2 of the book. I am unwilling to try any of the scenarios with our children because of their ages (I can just hear, "Mrs. So-So almost hit Will in 1st grade today" YIKES! I understand that the author is trying to get us to build trust (chapter 1) but with the ages of our children, I'm unwilling to go there. Anyone think these situations are a good idea???? (Oh come on! Someone disagree, try it and tell me how wrong I am.) Did you try the 5 Steps to Conflict Resolution in your classroom/library/room? Why or why not? What else interesting came out of the chapters for you?
Remember to read and respond to what others are posting. . . .
This year I have some students who want to fuss a lot. Since I usually utilize several small group activities in my room, I decided to give the lesson on "The Five Steps of Solving Problems Peacefully" and complete the activity. In the activity, each group is given a sample conflict problem to read, to discuss, and to list solutions to the problem. These sample conflicts were found in the back of the book. One of the examples was "You put a lot of effort into drawing a picture and someone laughed at it." The group had to make a list of ways to handle the problem and decide on the best way. My students loved listening to the lesson and completing the activity. I hope that these activities will help them and me to better handle conflicts not only in school but in life.
ReplyDeleteEarlier in the year, my class and I completed an activity that I ran across on a friend’s Facebook page. It went something like this:
DeleteA teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying
and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it, and really mess it up but do NOT rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they're sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they're sorry but they scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in her classroom told her that the message hit home.
We didn't stomp on the paper, but students were very successful in messing up a perfectly good sheet of notebook paper. It was tattered, torn, and wrinkled. This visual activity made my children aware of what can happen if you hurt each other, even though you try very hard to make everything better, scars are there and you are never the same.
I also incorporated the Five Steps of Solving Problems Peacefully and Resolving Conflicts Respectfully in my next bullying lesson. Each station was given a conflict card and students were allowed time to resolve the problem. We discussed the five steps of conflict resolution and decided if we had resolved the problems in the best way. Ideas were posted in the classroom for us to review whenever we needed too. What a great life lesson!!
The paper activity that sherry shared is great. What a super way to explain the effects of bullying. Thanks for sharing!
DeleteI did a similar activity with my kids at the beginning of the year. We read the book "Crysanthemum" as I passed a paper doll cutout around the room. Each time the students heard an insult from the other characters in the book, they would make a small tear on the paper doll. Then we reread the book and placed a piece of masking tape on each tear for every time Crysanthemum's parents said something nice that made her feel better about herself. At the end, it was very evident how hurtful things can be to people. It really showed the kids how hurtful things stick with people because although we covered all the tears up with tape, she still didn't look the same. We talked about how she still will always have those scars from the mean things the kids said to her at school. My students really enjoyed this activity and I have the paper doll hanging in my classroom to refer back to. Anytime we are having problems with someone being mean to another person, we refer back to it and the kids really remember how hurtful it was for Crysanthemum.
DeleteI think what made the activities Sherry and Elisha did with their students so effective was that the students were INVOLVED. These were concrete examples of the concepts they were trying to get across...in a much better way that just having a discussion.
DeleteThe Five Steps of Conflict Resolution really stood out to me as I was reading. I am glad that you tried the lesson and now know that it was engaging and of value to the students. When I read that there were conflict cards on page 157, I immediately turned to the back. I found that many of them contained situations in which our students could relate. Now that you have discussed the activity and had students work in groups to list possible solutions to a conflict, I can see where you could now use this not only as a group assignment but also as an individual task. This could be a morning work activity that would address the issue of bullying as well as provide a writing opportunity for students.
ReplyDeleteI think role playing with these situations would really help students have a repertoire of strategies that they can pull from when they are in similar situations. I plan to have my students work through several of these situations.
DeleteThe information in these two chapters about conflict resolution and friendship makes me think of the saying, "sometimes you have to agree to disagree." I think that the 5-steps of conflict resolution offered by the book would be a good easy model that will teach students to respond instead of react when faced with conflict. I have not tried any of the activities in the library yet but today a senario occurred that I can use in a future lesson: A student was laughing as they checked out a book because a friend was still in the purple level (1st grade)fortunately this was not heard by anyone but me and I was able to cut it off and explain that we all learn at different rates.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the problems and conflicts in Chapter 2 (age appropriate) happen on a daily basis in the classroom such as not sharing, laughing at others, making fun of others and calling others names. We do have to “teach” kids respect, and empathy, and about friends and sharing and how to get along with others! Lots of times with these kids the adult just does not take the time or does not have the time to teach, role model or practice the basics anymore! Just simple respect for others will go a long way!
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the year I completed an activity with my students much like the one Mrs. Davis did. I got this idea from other third grade teachers. I read the book Chrysanthemum to them and we talked about how the other kids treated Chrysanthemum very badly just because her name was different. I gave each student a paper person. We read the book again and every time a student saw where someone said something ugly to Chrysanthemum they ripped a little tear in the paper person. When we were finished each student had many tears in their paper person. We tried to fix the person and say I’m sorry and tape over their tears. I told my students that even though we put tape on the paper person it is never the same again. I explained that even though we say we are sorry the person we hurt will never be the same again. While reading the bully book there were two activities that I really liked. One activity is “What is Bullying and Respect”. I thought this would be a good lesson for my students. We could use the internet or dictionary to look up the definitions of respect, disrespect, and bullying and go from there. I also like the five steps of solving problems. I will use this with my students also.
ReplyDeleteThe kids love this activity and it's a great visual!
DeleteAutumn and Elisha I want to read Chrysanthemum again (my children beg to read most books again) and do this activity with them. I think it would be great to have the visual in our room as a reminder.
DeleteLike Ms. Davis and Mrs. Arnett I have done the activity with the notebook paper and talked about name calling in Chrysanthemum. Over the years I have had a lot of tattle tailing and he said she said kinda stuff. The kids do not realize how much it hurts another person until you bring it to their attention. And then sometimes it helps and sometimes it takes more than that to make them realize what they are doing. After doing all our anti bullying talks and activities at the beginning of the year it seems my class didn't understand what bullying really was. They well most of them thought it was when you hit someone (violence) They didn't understand it was any form of being mean to another. I enjoyed reading about the 5 steps to resolving conflicts and look forward to hearing more.
ReplyDeleteI loved Sherry's activity about the crumpled paper and the scars that are left behind after hurtful words are said to one another. One interesting quote from the text in Ch. 1 was "we don't have to like everyone, but we do need to treat everyone respectfully". As the author stated, many children do not have respectful role models and they need specific examples of respectful behaviors. Ch.2 states in the final thoughts that problem solving and conflict resolution are necessary skills in life but these skills are not obvious to everyone. The more these skills are role modeled and practiced, the better the chance the students will solve their problems and resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully.
ReplyDeleteI also liked the quote about treating everyone respectfully. We must strive to be good role models for out student's daily, as we might be the only positive role models they see each day. I also agree that problem solving and conflict resolution are necessary skills in life. We have to make an effort to teach these skills and cannot take for granted that children will learn this away from school.
DeleteI have also done the crumpled paper activity with my students and they seemed to understand that "words hurt". We talked about no matter if you say you're sorry or not that person will always remember how you treated them or what you said to them. We also put on a skit to demonstrate the actions of bullies and the reactions of the victim. I have discussed with my students what bullying and respect are as well as ways to resolve problems peacefully. We as teachers need to model for the students what problem solving looks like.
DeleteWhat I really took away from reading these two chapters was the importance of "teaching" children about acceptable/unacceptable behaviors, bullying, respect, and conflict resolution. We cannot take for granted that children are understanding what each of these things means without us taking the time to "teach" them. Children learn best through modeling and we also cannot assume our students have good role models at home. There was a story in chapter two that described a scenario where two kids were fighting over a toy. The mother of one of the children came in to yell at the boys and tell them to "work it out" or she was going to take the toy away. The children didn't understand what "working it out" meant, so the mother missed out on a very teachable moment. Children make lasting connections when the lesson can be taught in the middle of the real-life situation. I've had moments as a speech teacher, where my students have been laughed at for sounding different from other students. There have been many discussions in the speech room regarding how to respond to bullying over one's speech. I feel like I have more helpful strategies to employ now, e.g., 5 steps of conflict resolution, the next time we have a situation to discuss.
ReplyDeleteI agree that modeling to our children can go a long way. We assume they know how to handle these situations when really they don't. There are grown adults who do not know the correct way to work conflict out with others, so we definitely cannot assume our kids already know how to handle these situations. Like you said, I think many of our students lack that guidance at home which makes our job even that more important.
DeleteI agree with the idea that we need to provide models for the children. How many times have I been like the mama in the story and told children in my classroom to stop arguing or stop calling someone an ugly name without actually helping the children reach an agreement or demonstrating to them how hurtful words can be? Time spent modelling and teaching children appropriate behaviors will be time well spent.
DeleteAt the beginning of school, I always read the book Chrysanthemum to my class.We always discuss how we are all different and how harsh words can hurt others. We look at our own names and write about how they are special.
ReplyDeleteThis year,I also tried the activity that Sherry shared with me about the piece of paper . The students tried and tried to get the wrinkles out of the paper. This really seemed to be an eye opener for my students.
The Five Steps of Conflict Resolution really stood out to me.I feel that the more we model and discuss ways to treat others respectfully the more students will understand the damage behind bullying.
It's really neat how the visual sticks with them all year. We can always refer back to that activity in my class and I can just see the emotion on my students' faces as they recall how it made Crysanthemum feel when others said mean things to her.
DeleteI also have talked to my students every year about not calling anyone a name that they themselves would not like to be called. Or to treat anyone any differently them they would like to be treated. Often I quote the Golden Rule and explain what it means. Chrysanthemum is a book that I too use as an example of how words can hurt just as much as actually being struck. Chapter 1 talks about respecting others, first we have to explain what respect is to our students, many do not know or understand what it is. Then we, ourselves, have to model giving and getting respect. Sometimes adults forget that their words leave a mark that will never vanish. In Chapter 2 the main point that I want to make my students learn is that you don't have to agree or like to do everything that your friend does in order to stay friends. Accept each others differences and learn to compromise.
ReplyDeleteLike Sherry, Autumn, and the other third grade teachers, I also taught a lesson on bullying the first week of school. I, too, read the book Chrysanthemum to my students. As I read the book the students passed around a paper doll, and every time they heard a character in the book call Chrysanthemum names, make fun of her, or act mean toward her in any way, they would make a small tear on the paper doll. At the conclusion of the book, I taped all of the tears on the paper doll. Like the other teachers, I pointed out that although the tears were taped, the paper doll would never be the same because of all of the scars. Then I taped the paper doll on a wall in the classroom as a visual reminder to always treat others with kindness, especially with our words.
ReplyDeleteAfter, I read chapters one and two of "How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression" , I realized that many of the bullying problems at school happen because of a lack of respect. Many of my students did not really understand the meaning of respect. Like the book said, teachers, parents, coaches etc. are always telling their students to show respect to each other, but the students do not know how to show respect. I taught a lesson on the meaning of respect. I explained that respect is an action verb, and that respect is visible to others. I also explained that my students should show respect to themselves, to others, and to others' property. Then the students discussed different ways to show respect to others. Some of their ideas were: picking up trash on the playground, listening when others are talking, and holding the door for someone. Then I had them write respect at the top of a sheet of notebook paper, and they had to write seven sentences that described ways to show respect to others. I put their sentences on the wall around the torn paper doll. I wanted this to be another visual reminder to my students to treat others with respect and with kindness. During this lesson, I did discuss conflict resolution, but I didn't use the five steps of conflict resolution because I thought five steps were too many steps for my third graders. Instead, I told them to use three steps to resolve conflicts. These steps were: 1. State the problem. 2. Allow each person to state his/her opinion or ideas. 3. Find a good solution for each person even if you have to compromise. OR Ask an adult or leader for help. I hope this focus on respect will help to prevent some bullying behaviors in my classroom. Also, maybe the next time an adult asks my students to show respect, they will have a picture in their minds of what it looks like to show respect to themselves, to others, and to others' property.
Unfortunately, I have to deal with conflict resolution daily during P.E., so the Five Steps to Conflict Resolution stood out to me as I read the first two chapters. I have always done only three steps...each student tells his/her side of the story, both students suggest possible solutions, and together we agree on a resolution. I can see where weighing the pros and cons and deciding on a back-up plan would make the process even more beneficial, so I will try all five steps the next time a conflict occurs.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how much conflict you deal with in a day, Janna! I'm curious to know if you see a difference with using the 5 step conflict resolution plan since you have many more situations that you deal with from day to day.
DeleteI did the activity on page 10 of the book. We discussed the meaning of respect, disrespect, and bullying. It was very interesting to hear the students' interpretations of the different words. Then we discussed different examples of each word. Finally, the students made a chart with 3 columns and wrote 2 examples of each. From the discussion, I could tell this really helped clarify some things that some kids didn't really consider bullying previous to the lesson. I even had one student tell me that he had tried to be nice to people that he had bullied in the past but they didn't want to let him be nice to them. This opened up a great discussion about how someone who has been a bully in the past can go about changing that with people. We talked about how others might not trust that a bully is being genuine at first because of the things he's done in the past, but if he continues to do the right thing they will eventually realize he is not wanting to hurt them anymore. The children really enjoyed discussing these things and I think it is very important we continue to have similar lessons to educate our children. So many times we think they know right from wrong, when in reality, they still need some guidance and modeling from us.
ReplyDeleteI tried the activity that Sherry did. The children rumpled the paper and tried to straighten it out again. It gave them a real idea that words hurt and saying I'm sorry doesn't take it away. This age group is a hard age in learning how words affect other people.
ReplyDeleteI also used the same bullying lesson that Sherry used from Facebook using the crumpled up paper. My students stomped on their papers and wrote “NO Bullying!” on them. This activity really had an impact on my students. One of my students even said she was going to hang it up in her room so she could see it every day and remember. Another asked could they do this activity with their parents. This lesson was a great visualization of how the scars remain after hurtful actions or words.
ReplyDeleteI plan to use the 5 Steps of Conflict Resolution activity in my classroom. I will discuss the 5 steps and post them in the classroom for the students to refer to whenever needed. I am going to place my students in groups and give each group a conflict card. We will discuss the problem, brainstorm ideas, weigh the pros and cons of each idea, decide a plan A, and decide a plan B. We will discuss the results as a class. My hope is that this exercise will help my students understand how to make a situation better and to avoid making matters worse or creating a new problem.
I also read the book Chrysanthemum at the beginning of school. In Kindergarten we deal with name calling, not sharing, and children not playing with other children. I feel like it is very important to teach our children to show respect, and to treat people how they want to be treated. I agree with Robyn that we may be the only positive role models our children see each day. We can't take for granted children will learn conflict resolutions and problem solving away from our school. We had two new students lately in our classroom, and we have discussed how to make newcomers feel welcomed. The more often children practice solving real issues when conflict is not really happening, the better they will solve their problems peacefully in real situations.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on that Donna.
DeleteThe more often children practice solving real issues when conflict is not really happening, the better they will solve their problems peacefully in real situations.
I did something a little different with my class. I gave each child a sticky note and asked them to write a word that someone said that hurt them or draw a picture of something mean that someone had done to them. I then drew an outline of a kid on the board. I had each child put their sticky note on the outline. We talked about how and why this is bullying. The kids were able to see that hurtful words and actions “stick” with you even when you tell someone you are sorry.
ReplyDeleteI plan to continue working on conflict resolution. Once the kids have a better understanding of what bullying is…..I think we will see less of it. I can also see where some of the parents need to be educated on what is defined as “bullying”.
Lyn I agree that giving very explicit instructions and examples are the key. Students may not understand that their actions are considered bullying because of what they see at home but when given explicit instructions and examples it will help them to better understand why their actions are considered bullying.
ReplyDeleteI think that modeling and giving very explicit examples of bullying are very helpful my my age group. A lot of the time my students don't realize that their actions are considered bullying because of what they see at home. Like Autumn said, many adults do not know to resolve conflicts peacefully so we can't assume that our students are learning this at home. I also agree with Mrs. Terry in that we have to educate the parents and let them know our expectations. After having to deal with a bully situation this year, I realized the source of the problem after meeting with the parent. She too had bullying tendencies. I discussed the "problems and conflicts to resolve" with my students and we brainstormed and discussed ways we could resolve the conflicts peacefully.
ReplyDeleteKadie I agree with you about K and 1st grade and how important it is to model, model, model. I think we all are really beginning to see what a huge influence we have on our children. To prevent some of the bullying we have to teach our students how get along with others and be proud of their own accomplishments. Donna N. and I were talking and we have to set the examples with how we treat them. Even something as simple as partner sharing during journal time is a great way to show them how to work together.
DeleteSorry, Doc, but I'm going to agree with Lyn on this one. I think our students need to "see" what we are talking about. Think about the premise of explicit instruction...before "they do" there has to be an "I do" and a "we do". And sometimes, there will have to be multiple explicit lessons before it takes hold...just like with instruction of any sort. Unfortunately,this has to be taught in school because some students are not getting it at home. I, too, wondered about sending a letter home explaining what was happening (and why) so that there would be less confusion on the part of parents.
ReplyDeleteWhat great ideas and lessons you all have done! These kinds of activities are the concrete experiences that our children need to experience to be able to truly understand concepts like bullying. I thought the 5 Steps to Conflict Resolution were great strategies to teach children. We are teaching them a "tool" for handling conflict and are promoting problem solving - what important skills these are as students progress through school and take into the workplace!
ReplyDeleteI have been talking to my students about being kind and showing kindness. I also read to my students a book called “No name calling”. After reading the book, we discussed what it meant to call people by their names only. We also discussed how it made them feel it someone called them something else other than their name. Also, after reading my book, each student talked about what words felt good to them. I also agree with Susan that problem solving and conflict resolution are needed skills in life but these skills are not noticeable to everyone. The more these skills are role modeled and practiced, the better the chance the students will solve their problems and resolve conflicts calmly and politely.
ReplyDeleteThis year with my group I have really tried to use explicit language when I have talked about just about everything. But when I started Ch. 2, the statement "friendship involves conflict" really made sense. We have to teach them how to be a friend and how to resolve the conflicts that are going to occur with that friendship.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kadie that modeling and giving explicit examples of bullying are very helpful to our age group. I did a similar activity like Mrs. Terry. We talked about bullying and how we should always treat each other. I passed out a sticky note to each student and asked them to write down a word that someone may have said or an action that hurt them or a friend. I drew a stick kid on the board, and the students read what was on their note and put their sticky note around the kid. The students were able to see that the hurt "sticks" with you even when someone apologizes. I think the 5 Steps to Conflict Resolution will help prevent some bullying. Students have to be taught how to solve problems and resolve their conflicts.
ReplyDeleteI did the same activity that Sherry did with the paper with my students. I actually found it on Pinterest and I really think it made the students think. I explained that no matter how apologetic their words were, it didn't reverse the damage that was already done. We have had multiple discussions about thinking about your words and actions before acting on them and I hope they relate to this activity as a visual reminder of the effect they can have on someone.
ReplyDeleteAs stated by other third grade teachers, I incorporate several lessons on bullying using the book Chrysanthemum at the beginning of school. I have character words around my discipline chart and we discussed the meanings. Respect, trustworthy, caring,and honesty are a few important ones. We often refer back to this as incidences happen throughout the year. After reading the five steps, the lessons can help to increase children's understanding of behaviors and actions not only to others but to themselves.
ReplyDeleteI tried the activity like many others with the paper. Like Melissa Franklin said it is hard to take back the words after you say them. I think this activity really made them think about when you say something hurtful that it sticks with you.
ReplyDeleteI also read Chrysanthemum at the beginning of the school year and I have recently reviewed it like Ms. Sharron and used character words to discuss with my class. One in particular that I have reviewed over and over is Respect. With 1st graders we are constantly talking about how we need to respect each other.
Awesome! I'm learning too!!! Great idea to do some "frontloading" before completing the lesson and using a pencil instead of a water bottle. I'm in!
ReplyDeleteI liked in Chapter 2 how it talked about the fact that relationships of all kinds include conflict and we need to teach them how to deal with it. I also read Chrysanthemum and we discuss how we are all different and it's o.k. to be different but to BE NICE to others. To think about how you would feel. I LOVE the activity that Ms.Davis shared about crumbling the paper. I am going to try that with my class this year.
ReplyDeleteI really believe that modeling and giving explicit examples is necessary with our age group and with the home life experiences of many of our students. We can't just assume that they are (or are not) being taught how to respect, treat, and respond to others at home. In my classroom we have discussed ways we should behave and respond to others and have done some role playing and pantomimes to make the children more aware of others feelings. We have role played taking turns, including others, asking for something you'd like, and checking on others. I often ask a child, "What is a better way you could have said (or done) that". Most of the time the child can come up with a more appropriate and less 'ire inciting' way of accomplishing the same or similar goal.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that children need to be taught what bullying behaviors are. Most of us as humans often think that our way is right or what we are doing is OK because that is what we are used to or the example we have been raised around. We need to help children recognize bullying behaviors and how they impact others. I need to remember to use the paper crumbling activity with my students!
OK, What happens in Mrs. Robbie's room, stays in Mrs. Robbie's room!! LOL Seriously, I think if parents are aware we are attacking this bullying issue head-on and will be role playing different scenarios, they will be fine with it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the comments that stated we need to model and be specific as we address the issue of bullying. I am always picking up on something that is considered a small piece of advice. But this statement stuck with me and I actually tried it on Friday. On page 11 in the book, there was an explanation about the four-to-one rule. A teacher needs to give at least four positive comments to a child before giving one correction or negative comment. I have a student who is usually misbehaving when she enters the room in the morning, so I knew this would be a challenge, and it was! But I have to admit it worked like a charm. I am anxious to see if it works again tomorrow. (Yes, I literally kept a mental tally of my positive and negative or correcting comments all day, and YES it was exhausting, but it worked) And you know what, my attitude about this little ball of fire had changed by the end of the day. She adores lots and lots of positive attention. Don't we all??
ReplyDeleteCould we teach the children who have used hurtful words to then use at least four positive words to their victim? Would that create more problems???